it’s happened before. you’re on the road and you see the golden arch shining like a beacon for your stomach. or maybe it’s jack ushering you off the freeway towards his newly designed 3-D box.. or the monarch of burgerland himself requesting your attendance in his court… perhaps it’s the red-headed girl with pigtails hypnotizing you to forget about your self-imposed daily caloric intake. regardless of the chef, your mouth waters before your mind can recall page 178 of Fast Food Nation. your body goes on autopilot fixed on its drive-thru destination and as you descend, you hear your stomach thanking and cursing you at the same time.
it’s a fight we avoid because we lose every time. resisting the urge to eat food that is fast. if whole foods had a 24-hour drive thru and a dollar value menu, we wouldn’t be having this discussion at 3am in the morning. alas, the same people who promote healthy eating probably also promote healthy sleeping, but i digress.
therefore, to cope with our bad eating habits, we employ some basic rules while at the drive-thru of our favorite american fast food vendor.
1. no super size – there’s nothing super about it.
2. no soda – water is probably the healthiest thing they have. take advantage of it.
3. no combos – just wish for some stowaway fries at the bottom of the bag
4. 90% of your order should be from the $1 menu. maximize your wallet.
5. speak clearly. enunciate.
Below is a typical morning meal ordered by lady danville. enjoy.